The Dirty Sanchez, Etc.

From: "Br. Cleve" <>, Subject: the dirty sanchez, etc

Here is a fairly extensive compilation of some of the extraordinary sexual activities that can be performed by men:
Hot Lunch
While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)
The Stranger
Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
Western Grip
When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western.
The Blumpkin
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.
Donkey Punch
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
Golden Shower
Any form of pissing all over a chick (a.k.a.- watersports)
Pearl Necklace
Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
Purple Mushroom
This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.
The Flying Camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.
A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.
The Ram
Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
This is another one involving oral sex. Right before you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together.
Jelly Dougnut
A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.
The Woody Woodpecker
When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap the head of your cock on her forehead.
Dog in a Bathtub
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
Tossing Salad
Another prison act where one person is forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison.
Rim Job
nother name for tossing salad. Focuses on the use of the tongue.
The Bucking Bronco
An all time classic. You start by going doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
Pink glove
This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
The Fountain of You
While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed).
New York Style Taco
Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails.
The Dirty Sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez.
The Fish Eye
From behind, you shove your finger in her ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.
Tuna Melt
You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.
Fur Ball
You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.
The ChiliDog
You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.
Gaylord Perry
Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple).
Rear Admiral
An absolute blast. When getting a chic from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
Glass Bottom Boat
Putting saran wrap over your partners face and proceeding to lay a hot shit there.
Put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forhead) It may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try.
Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.
Dutch Oven
Rather simple. Whenever you bust ass while in the sack pull the covers over both of your head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well.

Added from wikipedia

Rusty Trombone
Rusty trombone is a euphemism for a sexual act in which a man stands with his knees and back slightly bent, with feet at least shoulder width apart in order to expose the anus.[1] The other partner typically kneels behind the man and performs anilingus while reaching up beneath the testicles or around the body to masturbate the man, mimicking the motions of a trombone player. The act is defined primarily by the physical orientation of the partners and the combination of analingus with manual penile stimulation; however, other positions and variations are possible.


Alabama Hot Pocket
An Alabama Hot Pocket is when a woman lifts her legs above her head and spreads open her love tunnel while the man places his ass directly on it and then carefully squeezes out a nice fudge dragon right into her vag.


Alaskan Firedragon
When a man is just about to ejaculate while receiving oral sex, he pushes down the woman's head, leans in and says something shocking such as "I have herpes." The woman will choke and try to pull back. The man then ejaculates into the back of her throat while she is choking, forcing the semen through her nostrils. This is similar to laughing while drinking milk.
Alaskan Pipeline
The act of pooping into a condom, freezing the rubber overnight, then inserting it into ones anus.
Alaskan Bobsled
While performing intercourse doggie style, the male knocks the female unconcious and proceeds to ride her down the stairs while still engaged in intercourse.